I’m intrigued by the fact that Battlefield 3 has held my attention for so long. Usually when I play through something, I move on. The fun when repeating a task dramatically tapers off. When it came to this game, however, there is just so much to do and it’s not easy to master.

Like everyone else, I like to win. Just being at the top of the scoreboards by the end of the round is not the main objective, however. It’s not just about being at the top, that is a must, but exactly how high on top is more crucial. Judicious and absolute domination is my definition on winning. In order to do so, one must not think like an average player – but rather analyze and seek an advantage. I’ve mainly focused my time in helicopters. Why run around on foot like an ape, when I can pillage and rain down death from above? I joined a server running the Noshahr Canals map, and opportunely, all elements for success were present and in alignment:

  • Server was filled with mostly noobs
  • Said noobs lacked any ability to efficiently take down aircraft
  • Conquest mode with high ticket count… which means a long round
  • I was on the Russian team, which has 1 scout helicopter. The US team has 2 scout helicopters (easy kills) and they spawn on an isolated carrier

I stayed in the helicopter all round long. I don’t think I did anything else but kill. I let my peasant teammates attend to the trivial task of capturing flags for me. Opponents constantly tried to challenge with their 2 helicopters, but their attempts were futile… they were simply feeding me more points. Since the other team spent more time being dead than alive, all flag points were eventually captured. This mean they had no where else to spawn but at their carrier. I briefly thought about staying back and letting them “have a chance”, but thankfully realized that such sportsmanship was intended for mere mortals and fools. I promptly hauled ass over to the carrier and circled, waiting for the prey to spawn and for the slaughter to begin. In a cruel twist of fate, their home became their grave. The waters around the ship flowed red with the blood of the weak, as my reign of terror in the skies hammered down with spiteful vengeance. To win, one must be merciless and give no quarter.

Surprisingly, most of the opposing team remained in the server until the end of the round. Typically, sane people will rage quit when it is blatantly obvious that they are outmatched. I’m guessing these players were so amateur, they had not yet developed a sense of pride or were stubbornly hoping for a miracle. Another advantage to me, which I thoroughly reaped upon.

155-7, bitches.

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