Consumed

I’m starting to lose my grip with this whole project. As a disclosure, never think for even a second your car build is done. You close one door and 5 more will open. That’s the thing with cars, there’s just too many things that need to be taken care of, it’s almost endless. And all those things cost money, lots and lots of money. My wallet hates me, and I’m pretty the UPS guy hates me too… the astronomical amount of packages I had delivered over the past few months have been more than my entire neighborhood combined.

It’s not even the money that’s getting to me, even though this was supposed to be a budget-minded build and is now effectively voiding the classification I initially purposed… it’s the time and energy spent. Out of all people, I should have known what I signed up for in the beginning. I did, after all, sell my RX-7 to move away from cars. Yet somehow here I am again, buying parts and working on another car, all in the namesake of being able to drive something more unique. In order to properly undertake a build like this, you need to invest a monk’s level of diligence and patience.

I have the diligence, maybe too much of it. When I take on a project with as much stake as this one, the need for thoroughness and perfection is compounded. However, given the nature of working on a car, things can go wrong far, far too easily. A horrible combination. I’m also lacking in the patience department, so instead, I have to tap into my stress reservoir to sustain myself. I’m already old as shit… after this build, I’ve aged myself at least another decade.

With the second set of wheels, I had to get another alignment to dial in more camber. I’ve also had to tweak the coilover heights at least a million god damn times. From those million adjustments, I had to mount and dismount the wheels each time. While unscrewing the lugnuts, my socket dropped and put a small ding on one of the wheels. Then it happened again, this time on the other side with the lugnut itself dropping. I had to shave and grind for clearance around the passenger side bumper/fender probably half a million times. That passenger front wheel also ended up bending out the fender… and in a moment of haste, I thought hitting it with a hammer would fix it. It didn’t. Now I have a front fender that’s not only bent, but dented.

These are all but minor examples. Every little thing adds a tally to my neurosis. Everything wouldn’t matter if this car was at least a few thousand dollars cheaper, but it’s been blown out of proportion.

I can’t really say if this car was worth it, because I haven’t been able to enjoy it. We’ll see in the time to come. But take my word for it, I won’t be building another stupid car after this. This one has taken a toll on me, and I have the popped blood vessels to prove it.

Most of all, I need to tell myself to NOT SELL THIS and KEEP IT. I have a very bad habit of building something, getting bored of it, and selling it all too soon.